Hey everybody, it's me Jane, here in Bend Oregon. It feels like forever since I've gone on Facebook Live. It's been such a crazy time, am I right? I'm over here in my office in Bend, I came over with Aji to pick up some books for the next Masterclass, I'm going to be running starting, you know, next month.
And I just wanted to tell you about the masterclass for women that just wrapped up this week, it was absolutely amazing. It's such an honor, if you've been following me along at all, you know that I hold space for women in really a sacred container of sisterhood. Women who want to let go of sexual shame and increase their confidence with their partners and actually create amazing relationships, whether they're in a relationship with another woman with a man with a non binary person. And we just finished a to me magical experience over the last several months. It's like a 12 week class that we've just wrapped up this week. And I don't know, I just had the most wonderful time leaving this group of people. We talked about all sorts of things that are related to sex and sexuality and relationship and communication and all this stuff that oftentimes we forget about in our lives. we're so busy. And so many things are going on, that many of us haven't had the opportunity to discuss these things in our lives. And so are we just, you know, we were raised in a way that we don't feel like we should talk about these things, because they're embarrassing, or somehow we got the message that it was awkward, inappropriate, shameful, even, and we didn't get any information. And so this class, this masterclass, just finished up. And what was so much fun about it for me was to see how the women supported each other, it was less about giving information. And you know, like kind of teaching, it was more about people coming together to support each other, and to really witness each other and see the growth and offer each other support. Because one of the things I've always said in my coaching, so I coach couples and women around intimacy issues, is that, you know, all sorts of people feel like this, I always am telling people like me, you know, so many people have the same experiences. So many people feel this way. But when you don't know that's true, you might think I'm lying to you, or you don't you know, you have an experience of hearing someone else say that. You only hear me say that. So you think okay, yeah, maybe she's maybe that's true. But maybe it isn't true, maybe she's kind of just saying that because, you know, she's trying to make me feel better or something. But when you're in a room, when you are in like a Zoom Room, this is not real room. Well, I guess it's real now, as real as it gets now. But when you're on zoom with these other people, for one thing, it's, it's pretty easy, because you're not actually sitting there with other people, I think for in a way, the zoom, that dynamic works well for this information, when you're there and someone else is talking about her life and her relationship in a completely confidential way. And you know that you can talk about something that happened to you, or maybe you don't even want to say it, but just inside yourself, you know, that you're not alone. And you know, you're not broken. And you know that there is a way to go forward and feel better about yourself, no matter how old you are, what type of relationship you're in, whether you're newly married, or you've been married 50 years, you still can realize that you as a person, as a woman are, are okay, that you're safe, that other people understand you and that the things you've experienced are not strange, they're not. They're not anything but human. And the reason that you've been having the struggles that you've been having, that we're all having around ourselves as sexual people, is because you've been lied to by society, you've been told things that really weren't true. And when you realize that with other people in this situation like that when you're with these people, and you've learned to know them and care about them over a period of time, it's literally transformational for women.
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And then the other thing that's really cool about this is that for some people now, this is a bonus that these women got not everybody did this, but for some people they joined another class that I offered as a bonus to them was free to them, for their partners for their husbands. And sometimes these people have female partners but for those who had male partners, then they joined this other group of men. And so in the men's group, I had the tremendous honor to teach them about how to please a woman. Because honestly, we're a bit complicated, we think that we're easy to understand, you know, we expect you to know exactly what to do and how to do it. And then we don't tell you anything. And I'm not just talking about sex here, I'm talking about in all the ways, we're not very good at communicating. And then, I mean, we are we understand each other, that's the thing. See, I talked to a woman, she understands me, I understand her. But we don't speak to you as a man in a way that you understand us. Because we, you know, we speak differently than you do. And we have different ways of communicating. But I taught them in and it was so much fun to teach the men, about women and how to please a woman in very specific ways that they found incredibly helpful. I love that. And then women really like that, because it's kind of like, women want me to kind of teach their guy? Can you tell him about how to be, you know, a better partner, a better husband, a better lover, someone who makes me feel more alive, more accepted, someone who doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in my skin. Because so often things happen with our relationships, where one of us will say something and the other person, then maybe misinterprets, or it sinks in in some way that is really hurtful, even if our partner didn't mean it to be hurtful. Like, even if you say something to me, maybe you're my partner, and you say something to me, that, you know, you think it's not, you don't find it to be embarrassing or hurtful, but somehow, it hurts my feelings, because I have some kind of insecurity inside that I'm not, you know, I haven't told you about and you don't know that you can't read my mind as much as we think you can read my, our minds. So far, you can't read your mind, right? Because you got to be able to, you know, we have to save the stuff. It's hard for us to say things when we feel really embarrassed. And so what happened in the men's group was really interesting. They were so respectful of their women. And they, they listened, and they were kind and they were, they were just so willing and open to learn more about what it is that women would actually enjoy with, with a man. And they, they felt like they learned new things. And some of them just had, you know, they just reinforced that they already knew things. So they didn't feel like they had to learn anything new. They just felt like, Yeah, I know what I'm, I know my way around a woman. I know women, you know, I know I have experience with women, I feel comfortable with myself. And then it was also work great for women who are in relationships with other women. Because, again, if there's just this layer of shame and difficulty that we've been socialized with, it's interesting, when I talk to men, they often don't know that we are carrying around like armor of the painful things that have happened to us over life, our lives. And it's not because we've all you know, had horrific trauma. Lots of us have had horrific trauma, but it's more like little things that have happened like death. By 1000 cuts, we have had small insults or things we've absorbed from the society, the culture around us, that make us feel like something on us or in us or about us is not good enough. This sense of unworthiness, pervades female culture, we are letting go of it. We're trying to release it. And that's what we're doing in this class is letting go and releasing these things. But it's really about more practical stuff. Like what are the tools that you as a woman or your partner, this if
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you're a guy listening to this and you're with a woman, what kinds of things could happen between the two of you that are nice and easy. This is what we did in the class that aren't that complicated. Honestly, this is not rocket science, just going through basic things, talking about things getting questions, answers, answered many of them very simple questions. There's so many small things that if we solve those tiny things, the big step automatically just poof, it becomes simple. It's almost like getting rocks out of the river. You know, we're going around you know, we're like going in the rapid somehow it's like moving the rapid the rocks out of the river. So now we're smoothly sailing down the river rather than having to negotiate so much. You know, the idea that relationships are hard, is you know, I think actually not true as long as we are open and communicating with each other in a in a really authentic way. If I tell you how much I care about you and I tell you what I like that you are doing and what I want from you, then you know how to offer that to me you don't have to guess and wonder all this Time like, you know, she, you know about me, I can communicate that to you. And then you are able to, you know, if you, if you choose to, you're able to share with me what you know something that would be great for both of us. So that's what we talked about in this masterclass again, it was just a stunning honor and the just so much fun for me to be in these these conversations we meet we met every week, except for the holidays a couple of times we didn't meet because the holiday since the fall. So we have been together for a long time. And it's been really remarkable. And it's just that I will never forget these women, their beautiful faces, as they said to each other. You're my peeps. And I don't know, it was just a delight, a complete honor a delight. And I'm so looking forward, we're doing it again, we're starting next month. So there'll be information coming about what that looks like, if you're interested, just leave me a message here, you could message me you could get send me a private message or leave me a message here and just say interested in the comments if that's something you might want to know more about. But it's going to be a remarkable again, I'm sure because every time women come together and support each other like that the world changes a little bit, the world gets a little bit easier when we start to support each other and to, to start to let go of the sexual shame, the other kinds of shame that we carry, when we let go of that stuff, we are lighter, we can be with you in a different way. Because we're not always kind of just like, stuck, you know, there's a stuck thing that's happening with us, you can see it on a woman when somebody is starting to let go of that stuff, she gets lighter, it's almost like there's some kind of inner light that goes on inside of her because she's not always trying to hide who she is. Being a sexual person is really a powerful part of who we are. And we've been told that we should hide that we should get rid of that. We shouldn't, you know, we don't want to show up as being somehow not appropriate or not a good person. And I'm certainly you know, I'm all for, like living a life where everybody's comfortable and happy. But it doesn't mean that we have to live with a lot of sexual shame or a lack of confidence in our lives, like I'm going to teach the next group of women. I'm super excited to get this next group of women and you know, their men, or men folk, on the same conversation, because it's just an utter, and complete delight, and utter and complete delight. It's just so powerful and so fun. Anyway, I'm over here picking up books, because everybody gets in the mail, a book like this, which I was just figuring out how many people will get to be in the next class. And it won't be that many people. So if it's something you think you might be interested in, if you feel like this is the work that's been calling you, either for a long time, lots of people have said to me, I know that this is what I need to do. I've always known I needed to do this, I have to start addressing this part of my life. If that's you, be sure you hit me up early, because there will run out of spots. I'm positive. So don't, don't delay if it seems like it's something for you. But anyway, I'll tell you more about that later. I just wanted today to tell you about what happened, how it felt to me as a leader and how it felt to the women in the room. It was really profound. Anyway, so nice talking to you today. I hope you're having a gorgeous day. It's snowy here in Bend, Oregon. I'm going to leave here and go over to Rei look and see if I can find a coat for myself and maybe something for my beautiful little my daughter. And I hope that all is well in your part of the world. Bye bye
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