There’s nothing more debilitating than for a man to deal with sexual performance and/or erection issues. And this is not an “ego based” reality for men. If you’re a woman reading about this for your boyfriend or husband, it’s important that you understand this truth. There’s an emotional and mental battle within themselves that’s taking place. Being able to get an erection is one of the greatest performance expectations we all have of men. We have collectively, as a society, placed such an emphasis on a man’s ability to do this, that we shame them when they can’t, and they, more often than not, tether their worth as a man on this single reality.
Therefore, I would encourage any women who may be reading this to be willing to hold a great space of love, compassion and patience for the men in your life who may be experiencing this issue, and never directly correlate a man’s feelings for you with this issue.
There are many reasons why men can’t get an erection: They have too many expectations and feel nervous about it, there’s too much anxiety in their mind about sex, perhaps they have aged and have health issues related to this, or simply they’re not turned on anymore.
There are so many facets involved with this single question that it’s impossible to answer “generally”. I would encourage any woman reading this to contact me so that we can discuss some possible solutions for you and your partner to deal with this issue as a loving couple together.
PS. I would also encourage any man who is reading this, and experiencing this issue, to not assume “Viagra” is the answer to your problem. It can often lead to more problems down the road if you’re not addressing this adequately and honestly.
If you have questions about this issue, or would like to schedule a consultation with me, please click here.
Jane Guyn, PhD
Read Dr. Jane's Relationship Blogs Here.