 You know what makes me cringe? When people treat their partner’s orgasm like a scoreboard. It’s great to be interested in your partner’s pleasure, but counting their climaxes or constantly seeking “proof” of their orgasm can actually be a huge turnoff. Why? Because it shifts the focus from connection to performance. How? It becomes more about you putting notches in your own belt, which can leave your partner feeling pressured or, worse, inadequate. The truth is, not all orgasms are the same. The female body, in particular, is capable of a wide range of pleasurable sensations—some explosive, some gentle, some full-body, some subtle. All wonderful.  Clitoral network illustration courtesy of: www.myvagina.com The clitoris alone has over 10,000 nerve endings (more than any other part of the human body), but it doesn’t stop there. The entire clitoral network extends internally, with branches that connect to the vaginal walls and nerve pathways that extend far beyond the pelvic area.
Focusing solely on the external glans clitoris {aka clitorial head) or relying on the techniques that worked for your last partner means you’re missing out on a world of untapped pleasure. And here’s the thing: many people chase the kind of dramatic, over-the-top orgasm they’ve seen in movies or porn. But what if you/your female partner already experienced orgasm—just not in the way you expected? What if it was a softer wave, a slow-building pulse, or a deep, full-body warmth that you dismissed because it didn’t look or feel like what you imagined? Here’s my challenge to you: drop the scoreboard. Remove all preconceived notions and expectations. Instead, get lost in the moment. Enjoy pleasure with your partner and also with yourself, for the sake of pleasure itself. And then do it again. And again. Trust me—it’s a lot more satisfying that way. XOXO, Jane PS. If this message made sense but still feels impossible to put into practice—first, be kind to yourself. You’re not alone. Second, take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Third, tap this link to schedule a free, confidential Zoom chat with me. You deserve support on this journey. 💜 Comments are closed.
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