 I often hear this concern from clients. Life gets routine and the sex that was satisfying when you first met feels stale. A lot of busy couples have trouble making love twice a week. And just as common as the lack of sex, many of them have ideas about what they’d like to try to reignite the spark, including so-called kink. The word "kink" is interesting. One of the definitions of "kink" is "bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior." In my mind, the things many people are imagining aren't particularly bizarre or unconventional. Take for instance the #1 fantasy for American couples: having a threesome. It's a great fantasy (and some couples make that fantasy a reality), but bringing another person into your bed is a lot more challenging than using sex toys or trying new positions. No matter the kink that you’d like to introduce to your relationship, you can apply the following 3 steps:
Step #1 Think about it Think about how your significant other might feel about the things you're interested in. Be as compassionate as possible as you think about them. How were they raised? What have their experiences been like as a sexual person over the years? Your sensitivity about their feelings and past experiences will help you have a conversation where they don't feel ambushed or criticized. It's completely OK to have desires and fantasies, but before you present them, think about it. Step #2 Talk about it Set up a time to talk with your partner about your sex life when you're both relaxed. Make sure that you have plenty of privacy so that you can speak freely. Tell them how much you love them and that you want to talk about how things have been going. Ask how they’ve been feeling about your sex life. Who knows — they might be feeling the same way you've been feeling. Make sure they know you want to talk about it because you want things to be even better than they are now. Step #3 Start with something easy Hopefully, your conversation will go well and you'll both be open to making some fun changes. Talk with him or her about how they might feel about things you don’t usually do together. If they’re open to it, maybe include the threesome idea as a fantasy without implementing it. Sexy shopping can be a great field trip or virtual activity for a special date night. Or you could do some sensual touch or a sexy bath. Whatever you do, be compassionate and understanding. Your intimate relationship is worth it. You can always reach out to me at [email protected], or by scheduling a complimentary chat if you need support. You got this! Xoxo Jane PS. If you could use a little help with brainstorming easy and fun changes, you should download my “Sexy Adventures for Couples” guide. The 30 playful adventures in this e-book will help you and your partner get out of your heads and into your bed - without pressure. Use this LINK and download it for free by using the coupon code FREEGIFT. Nice and easy + sexy! Comments are closed.
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