When Desire Feels One-Sided

Sometimes, everything about a relationship seems perfect—except for the sex. She wants it. He says he does too, but when she initiates, he frequently pulls away. She’s left feeling confused, hurt, and rejected

​She knows she’s attractive. Other men flirt with her. 

He’s a really good looking, masculine, big ripped guy.

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Their compatibility is undeniable. They love each other, are in a committed relationship, share great conversations, and enjoy their time together. But when it comes to intimacy, the disconnect is devastating.

She feels increasingly turned on by the lack of sex, while he feels overwhelmed by the pressure. The more she craves closeness, the more he withdraws. The occasional crumb of affection from him (a back rub, a lingering look) leaves her desperate for more, while he sees her desire as aggressive.

The dynamic becomes a painful, seemingly neverending cycle.

This is more common than you might think. Often, these men are ambitious, highly driven, and outwardly confident. They love their partners, but deep down, they may fear the emotional vulnerability that comes with sex. So avoiding intimacy becomes a subconscious way of avoiding deeper relationship decisions.

Breaking the cycle takes intention and strategy. If this resonates, I can help.

For men in this position, a shift in approach can make all the difference. Instead of focusing on sex as the end goal, start with small, intimate moments: a touch, a lingering embrace, a simple acknowledgment of the tension. Saying out loud, “I know it’s been awkward, but I want to reconnect with you,” can be a powerful first step.

This is complex. You may need to create sexual tension to help build up the turn on that leads to the passion she’s desiring. People say they want it to just be spontaneous. But that almost never happens. 

As a relationship and intimacy coach, I work with individuals and couples to reset the clock on desire, rebuild connection, and rediscover the passionate, fulfilling sex life they deserve.

If rejection has made initiating feel impossible, we can work on ways to create desire and confidence between you again.

Let’s talk. Book a free, private consultation today and take the first step toward reconnecting.


XO,

Jane


PS. If letting go sexually feels difficult, both coaching and hypnosis can help by reshaping conscious and subconscious patterns. Let’s explore which approach feels right for you. Book your call here.

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