Are Things Sagging?

“Your skin’s sagging. It'll never be tight again” That’s what he said. At least that’s what she said he said. He denied it. But she was sure. I could see it in her eyes.

​She’d worked hard to lose a few extra pounds. Got the weight off. But when he saw her body, what he saw was sag.

​Devastating.

​She thought about nixing her intermittent fasting plan and chunking back up. But she felt a whole lot better lean. She liked the way her clothes softly held her.

His words rang in her head. 

She wondered if he was comparing her to another lover. Was he looking at her sagging skin when they made love? She hesitated to get naked with him. Wanted to turn the lights off.

He complained about that. Why do you like it dark? Gimme a little striptease. Show your stuff. You’re beautiful. Why are you so insecure? 

He told a friend “My wife’s got issues. I just don’t get it. She’s hot, but she’s always covering up. Your girlfriend has tons of confidence. What’s her secret?”

Just a few words. “Your skin’s sagging. It’ll never be tight again.” Harmless?

At the end of our session, I offered him some unsolicited advice. 

When you’re talking to a woman, never point out her flaws. She’s desperately aware of them. In our culture, finding the flaws on a woman’s body is a national sport.

I told him to see past the imperfections. To look for the beauty - the silky thighs, rounded belly, responsive breath. To let her see her beauty (and nothing else) through your eyes. It’s the greatest gift you can ever give her, I said. And in return, she’ll open for you like the exquisite flower she is. Today and every day. 

If you’re a woman who is painfully aware of your physical imperfections, let's get in touch. You can’t erase the things he said, but you can begin the sacred work of loving yourself so deeply that words will never hurt you.