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Maybe it was something physical. (Like heart disease or diabetes. But the urologist and the pelvic floor physical therapist both said everything was fine.) She felt bad when he got soft. Like it was her fault. Maybe it was because she wasn’t hot enough. Or sexy enough. Or tiny enough. Or had big enough boobs. Maybe it was her. He felt bad when he got soft. Like it was his fault. Maybe it was because he wasn’t young enough. Or manly enough. Or turned on enough. Or enough for her.
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She imagined him behind her, touching her - maybe in public somewhere. Of course, she’d never actually do that. She was quite private. She got turned on. Which was a good thing. It didn’t always happen, but when it did, she loved the warm flowing feeling in her body when she heard his voice on the phone. Or the thought of him. Sometimes, she had trouble getting herself into the right headspace. But, on this particular day, for no particular reason, her body was right there. Responsive and alive. She tingled with a sensation like no other. |
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