I’m back on my mat. As I told you last week, Guatemala was wonderful! One of the best things about my trip with Jim was getting back on our yoga mats. Gotta admit that it’d been a hot second (like 6 months) since I regularly practiced yoga. And this was a beautiful yoga retreat in a lovely space with an inspirational teacher - PJ Frichtman. What’s a girl to do?
Even though the garden was glorious and we were surrounded by new and interesting flowers and birds, my first time back on the mat wasn’t really a lot of fun. I was stiff and wobbly. I hadn’t done a real yoga practice since Allison’s wedding at Edgefield in June and my body was resisting it all. Fortunately, PJ was gentle with me and eventually I enjoyed the experience.
Here’s what getting back on my yoga mat taught me about physical intimacy.
Tip #1 Be gentle with yourself
In sex (like in yoga) it’s best if you ease into things. What does this mean if you haven’t had sex for a long time? It means starting out with low pressure things like cuddling or spooning - not penetrative or other more invasive sex. In my opinion, this isn’t the time to “just do it,” it’s a time to take it easy, attune to each other’s energies, and let your bodies get reacquainted.
Tip #2 Take it slowly
Once I got back to Bend I was enthusiastic about yoga again. I wanted to jump in with both feet and spend hours in the studio, but I knew my tendency to overdo things. This is true with your sex life too. Sometimes you and/or your partner might be so enthusiastic about restarting intimacy that you decide to have sex several times during the week after you break the ice.
I’m not against following your desires, but I do think that it’s important to pace yourselves. And, again - don’t jump right to intercourse or other vigorous sex play if it’s been a long time since you were together. It’s good to stay connected affectionately, touching, holding, kissing, caressing. Like in yoga, always listen to your body. No down dog if it doesn’t feel good. lol
Tip #3 Make room in your life for real intimacy - and for any healing
Your “Before” life has likely been busy with all sorts of stuff - grown kids, pets, in-laws, medical appointments, work, house, even dinner plans with friends. If you want to keep the connection flowing, you’ll have to make space in your busy lives for each other. This is happening in my life about yoga too. I need to make time in my days to get to the studio. Don’t lose the momentum you’re enjoying.
Take advantage of this wonderful time. It’s the beginning of a new year, you’re feeling in love and connected. This is what you’ve always wanted.
Stay on your mat. You got this.
PS: Sometimes it feels impossible to get started on your connection again, but once things are flowing between you, you feel a lot better.
PPS: Want to talk about this stuff? If have a few complimentary 20 minute virtual coffee spots available most Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings. Get on my calendar using this link: https://www.howtofixmysexlife.com/coffeedate.html
PPPS: If you’re interested in these amazing yoga retreats, here’s the link to find out more: http://facebook.com/casavaldres