Hard times are good times (and a new opportunity to do erotic hypnosis with me)

One night soon after they started dating, she told her friends at Book Club that she’d won the multimillion dollar “Powerball of Cock”. There was something about her new bf’s body (and what he did with it) that drove her wild in the bedroom. The act of intercourse wasn’t usually her thing, but with this guy it was different. He was all that and a bag of chips. 

The morning after Book Club, she was a little embarrassed about how much she’d divulged. When it came to sex, she wasn’t the biggest talker in the room. But, Book Club was a place for secrets. 

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The next month, her Book Club friends asked about her sex life. Things were still going well with him and she laughed as she remembered their recent romp. There was something about the way he filled her when they made love. She was so ready. And he felt so good moving inside of her. 

By the next spring, teasing her about him had become quite the thing. It  hadn’t bothered her when things were going well, but now something different was happening. Over the holidays, he’d started having problems with his erections. Maybe it was stress. His ex was in town and he had a big project due at work. He didn’t have problems all the time, but sometimes he got soft during sex or when she went down on him. 

She wondered if it was something about her. What was wrong? Was he not turned on anymore? Had she lost her sex appeal? 

They weren’t alone in this situation. The fantasy of a cock that’s 2 foot long, hard as steel (and can go all night) is just that - a fantasy. Problems with erections are widespread - even in very young couples. And for most of us, when erections stop feeling easy and reliable, sex is challenging. 

I get referrals from urologists about men who have erectile concerns despite very healthy levels of testosterone and no other medical concerns. Many of these men deeply desire to please their partners with a satisfying erection. They’ve often used the ED meds without consistent success. I tell them that an erect penis is a relaxed penis and that stress is the enemy of great sex. 

If this sounds familiar, follow these steps and make things better. 

What to do when you’re having problems with erections:

1. Get medical help. ED happens if blood flow to the penis is limited. ED can be associated with conditions such as systemic vascular disease, heart conditions, renal failure, prostate cancer, diabetes, nerve damage, hormonal changes, and certain medications. It’s important to consult with a medical professional for assessment and possible treatment.

 

1. Get support for your emotional well being, too.  Realize that stress, relationship problems, depression and other mental health concerns are big contributors to ED. 

 

1. Realize that you’re not alone. ED is a very common experience for millions of men - impacting as many as 10 million men in the US alone as many as 50% of men over 40 at some time in their lives. A high percentage of men have erection problems at some time, but it’s often transient and/or treatable.

What to do when your partner’s having erection problems: 

1. Don’t make it about you. Taking your partner’s erection problem personally will only cause you to feel awkward and to pull back your sexual energy. ED tends to create a sense of shame for both partners. Stay open and friendly even when things soften up.

 

1. Be open to communication. But, don’t pressure your partner to share their feelings. They’re likely feeling disappointed as they process what happened. Having a conversation outside of the bedroom is a good idea. I teach a course called “The Talk” that might help you. Reply to this email, and I’ll send you the link.

 

1. Stay in the moment. Just because you partner isn’t hard doesn’t mean you can’t be connected sexually. Use your imagination and do something else that will provide you both with pleasure. Men can actually experience pleasure (and have orgasm) without being hard. 

Is this a problem for you or for someone you love? If so, please get on my calendar. Let’s have a conversation. 

There are lots of things I can offer that might help you including a new opportunity to experience erotic hypnosis with me. This stuff is impo(r)tant. 

Really.


Xoxo

Jane 

PS: Here’s the link so that you can schedule a virtual coffee with me (it’s even FR.EE!): https://www.howtofixmysexlife.com/coffeedate.html






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