Dr. Jane Guyn
Before I would even bother “going here”, I would first ask whether or not your relationship is healthy enough to even ask this question. Do you already have a healthy sex life? Are you and your partner in a very healthy, loving space with one another that this is a plausible reality?
If the answer to this is, “Yes”, I would then ask yourself, “Why you want to open up your relationship to outside people”. The “WHY” in this scenario matters most. Are you bored with your current sex life? Are they just not doing it for you anymore? In this event, opening up your relationship may cause chaos. However, if the two of you are just “sexually open people”, and aren’t jealous or possessive, and would just like to have a different type of fun or experience, then communication is key. Set boundaries for this scenario. Perhaps your rule is, “We can open up to someone else but we both must agree wholly on who this person is, and we agree to not have sex without one another present.” Etc.
Ask yourself the questions, and then communicate your needs with rules and boundaries to protect your primary relationship.
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Jane Guyn, PhD
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