How to Create The Perfect Woman In 7 Simple Steps

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​“I wish you were more like Brittany.”

That’s what one of my Canadian clients told his wife the other day. They were chatting about friends after a COVID-free BBQ. 

I was a little taken aback. But, I asked him what he liked about his wife’s friend Brittany.​

He said, “She's very outdoorsy and outspoken. She's very direct, and I appreciate that style of communication."
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“Hmmm,” I said. “How did it go with your wife when you said that?”

“Not so well,” he said.

I wasn’t shocked. 

Women are really sensitive to the negative judgments of others. We get it from the culture. “If my husband said that,” I said, “I would have killed him." Funny, not funny. 

I explained to him that women are covered with an invisible layer of velcro that’s designed to hold on to negative comments from others while the positive stuff slides right off.  

That’s when he said something really powerful. “It’s almost like you’re saying women are running around the world with PTSD, that can’t be right.”

Yes, I said. That’s exactly right. An inner sense of unworthiness is rampant among women.  

And because he asked me to make him a list of what he could do to make his wife feel better about herself (and act more confidently in the bedroom) I wrote...


How to create the perfect woman in 7 simple steps

1. Criticize her as infrequently as possible. Like maybe once a year. Or never.
2. Don’t compare her unfavorably with other women - even Scarlett Johansson or Halle Berry. She already knows they’re hot.
3. Watch her admiringly from across the room. When she notices, say “Have I told you today how much I love you? Do you know how much you mean to me?”
4. Ignore her physical flaws. Instead, tell her how beautiful she is to you.  Make it an unqualified declaration. For example, don’t say “You look pretty good for your age” or “Well, I think you’re beautiful.” Don’t say “Remember when you lost all that weight and looked great in a bikini?” Instead say, “You are a stunningly beautiful woman.” Or, “Wow, your eyes are gorgeous in this light. It brings out the green sparkles.” 
5. Let her open to you sexually in her own time. When you’re out to dinner with her (or hanging out with friends) whisper quietly into her ear “I’d love to make love to you right now.” But, don’t pressure her for sex when you get home.  
6. Listen when she’s talking to you without trying to fix it. Say “Tell me more,” and really hear what she’s saying. When you fully understand, say “It makes perfect sense you feel that way.” Because it’s true. Even if you don’t feel the way she feels, it does make perfect sense that she does in that moment.
7. If she’s asking you to change something about yourself, do your best to change it. As long as it’s within your values, give up what she asks. It will be worth it in the end. 

Follow these 7 simple steps every day for one full year and you will have the perfect woman (and be the envy of all your friends). 

Be grateful that this woman has chosen to give you her love. It’s a gift to be cherished. 

If you’re a woman who struggles with an inner sense of unworthiness, don’t be a stranger. I’m hosting a virtual “Body Shame Release Party” later this month. It’ll be a blast.