How to show up

You met in your early 30s - filled with passion and desire. You relished in the feelings of being irresistibly drawn to each other. The intimacy was stellar–fueled by anticipation and lust. Then came marriage. Then kids, household responsibilities, aging parents, and shifting priorities. 
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Suddenly you blinked and the spark that once ignited your relationship faded. Your partner who used to make you feel so desirable became more like a roommate. You blinked again and realized that the romance and attraction were just gone.

So you started scheduling date nights, hoping to reignite the flame, but they only seemed to deepen the friendship without bringing back the romance. Even scheduling sex hasn't quite hit the mark because your partner doesn’t see themself ‘that way’ anymore. You admire their honesty and respect their feelings, but you didn’t marry them to spend year after year stuck in the friend zone.

The truth is, you CAN fix your sex life. If your partner is struggling with confidence and self-image, and you're determined to help them rediscover their inner allure, keep reading.

One thing I'd recommend is to find authentic ways to compliment them at every opportunity. I know that some people really don't won't accept this or will even be insulted if you focus on their physical appearance. But lots of people enjoy hearing their partner say something complimentary if it sounds authentic. 

It's best to use  specifics here - something about how you feel when you see them, the way something on their body feels under your hands "your skin is so smooth" or their scent "you smell amazing". Maybe mention how they look in a certain light.

Next, use your eyes to praise them. It doesn't have to be a verbal compliment to make a positive impact. We can be very sensitive to "a look". Use your facial expression and body movements to let them know that you're supporting them.

And don’t overlook the importance of talking with them about how you might support them in feeling loved and admired. Your partner may not know how you feel. 

You might doubt that adding things like this into your relationship will change anything. I get that. It seems impossible. But you’ll be amazed at how something so small can make such a big difference.

​Try it.

​You might (both) really like it.


Xoxo

Jane

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PS: Hit reply and tell me what you think about these suggestions. I personally respond to my messages. Or, get on my calendar and let’s talk all about it. Here’s a link to secure your free call.