I’m not sure how I went from a terrified pre-pubescent girl who was intimidated by neighborhood boys, to a sexually empowered quasi woman at 18. It was the warp speed of teenage life.
(Be aware of this, parents. Your teens may be a weekend away from sexual awakening. At least when they’re not COVID Quarantining.)
Even though I loved sleeping late in the morning, one of my main goals at that time was getting out of the house before sunrise and into a sleeping bag on the beach with him.
“Mom, we have an early leadership meeting at school tomorrow. I need to be there before 7 am,” I’d say. “It’s mandatory.”
“Okay, honey,” said my mom. “Just get your homework done early.”
Homework wasn’t my main focus.
The next morning, I’d pick him up in my yellow VW Bug and drive with him to the beach. His mom didn’t like me much. I know why.
One day, I decided to tell my mom what was going on.
“Mom, can we talk to you?”
“Sure honey,” she said, unknowingly.
And then I told her. Just like that.
I imagine she was pretty surprised, even though he wasn’t my first serious boyfriend. When I think back on it now, I'm amazed that she didn’t freak out or blow up. #impressivemom
What she did say was important.
She said, “When you have sex, your relationship will become much closer.” She was right.
Sex makes our relationships closer. And when sex goes away, we feel distant.
Of course, the clients I work with now aren’t teenagers. They’re adults in long term marriages. Most of them have completely forgotten what real passion feels like. The idea of getting up before the sun to steal a moment of connection seems possible.
My clients are living a life without any of the heat my boyfriend and I felt back then. Of course, young love doesn’t usually last forever.
If you’re someone who’s married and wondering where those feelings went (or if you never had them with your partner) we should talk. Because even though you’re not a kid anymore and you’ve got tons of responsibilities, you still deserve a romp on the beach once in a while.
Email me and let me know. I'll personally get back to you.