Even during The Pandemic, their relationship looked pretty good to others. But on the inside, it was wearing them out.
Too dang much time together.
Dealing with one irritating thing after another. And no respite.
Her: It's recycling day tomorrow. And it’s snowing.
Him: (To himself) Like I don’t know that.
(Out loud) I have the alerts on my phone.
Her: Well, are you going to take it out? Or do I need to do it again?
Him: I’ll do it.
Him: (To himself) When hell freezes over.
(Out loud) Just a minute.
He “just a minuted” her to death.
Her: Can you help the kids with their Zoom login? The system kicked them out again.
Him: Just a minute
Her: Can you walk the dog? I don't want him pooping in the stairwell again.
Him: Yeah, just a minute.
And when he wanted to connect with her after the kids went to sleep, she “just a minuted” him right back.
Him: Come to bed, baby - it’s getting late.
Her: Um...Just a minute, I’m checking my email.
[Or scrolling Facebook, or putting on some wicked expensive cream from Sephora because it was supposed to make her look younger.
“So that you get that instant lift look without surgery” the sales associate said. Um, no.]
When she finally climbed in bed, he was asleep.
Even though nothing really bad happened that day, she had zero interest in “connecting” with him. If she was honest, she seldom had any interest. Which didn’t mean sometimes they didn’t get busy anyway. And that felt crappy.
What she wouldn’t do for a tryst with Simon from Bridgerton.
That guy’s hot. And he’s nice, too. She was sure he’d help around the house. And make her feel like Daphne, weak in the knees and flushed.
We talked for a long time. I told her that I understood. Because I do. It’s so common right now for us to feel completely overwhelmed in our lives. Our relationships are suffering.
But the truth is, when your partnership feels great, the other stuff gets easier. Even during COVID.
We talked about tools. How to live together without wanting to kill each other. How to open up to intimacy every day.
It was good.
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