She was pulling her own strings, in a dissociated “I’m not in my body,” kind of way.
Sometimes she didn’t move at all during intimate moments. This was better than that, she thought. Maybe he didn’t notice.
Of course it wasn’t true.
Her hollowness is obvious to him but he doesn’t ask what’s wrong.
I asked him why. He shrugged his shoulders. He said he feels bad and doesn't know what to do. Afterwards, they both felt lonely.
She couldn’t put her finger on the why of her dissociation.
She did know when it started.
It was early in their marriage.
She said he often talked about other women he’d been with in the past. Like she could never measure up.
He’d never meant to hurt her.
He’d been really young back then and had no idea how impactful simple words could be.
He was sorry. And he told her but it didn’t seem to make any difference. It was years ago but it still mattered to her.
It’s amazing to me how often things that happened “back then” impact couples today.
If you’re someone who’s disconnected from yourself and your partner because of something big or small in the past, let me know. We can work together to reshape your sexual mindset and open your heart to true connection.
It’s not too late.