His job was to unlock the castle gates. And for years he failed. Over and over. Eventually, he gave up and went an easier route. At least it seemed easier at the time. He found someone who would give it up with a simple sideways look. He found sexual solace there, but he longed to be intimate with his wife. He adored her, admired her, longed for her. But she turned her back to him night after night and he stopped trying to seduce her. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him. She just never felt his warmth when they were together.
Eventually she discovered his infidelity. And now, what seemed like a good solution to his problem was something he regretted with every fiber of his being.
She was devastated. And infuriated. Her disgust with his behavior was unmatched. And she let him know it. And yet she stayed in the marriage and tried to repair what had happened. Because she loved him and wanted the future they’d planned.
These days, she couldn’t think of anything but him with the other woman. When she imagined them together, she felt physically ill and wanted nothing to do with him.
Even though she wanted to give him what he wanted.
And to be loved by him.
She wanted him to understand that foreplay wasn’t just a physical activity, it was an attitude of kindness and warmth. It started at coffee and continued throughout the day.
She wanted to feel adored and accepted. Not used for his own pleasure.
They both wanted to connect deeply on all levels but there were many wounds.
Our work together focused on helping her show him how to please her. Where to find the secret passageways into the castle. And showing him how to live in integrity with compassion and willingness to be truly present.
Sometimes it looked like everything was going to fall apart despite their best efforts. But this year, as Christmas approaches, they’re together.
It’s been very difficult, but they’re falling deeper in love and trying to make it work. I think they’re going to make it.