Relationship Blogs |
 Tantra doesn’t have to be intimidating.
It’s not about acrobatics. It’s not about putting on a show. And it definitely doesn’t require your partner to chant in Sanskrit or stare into your soul for 45 minutes (unless they want to)! At its heart, tantra is about presence, connection, and pleasure. If you’re curious about incorporating tantric principles into your relationship—but your partner is a little…skeptical—here are a few gentle, no-pressure ways to start:
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 You know what makes me cringe? When people treat their partner’s orgasm like a scoreboard.
It’s great to be interested in your partner’s pleasure, but counting their climaxes or constantly seeking “proof” of their orgasm can actually be a huge turnoff. Why? Because it shifts the focus from connection to performance. How? It becomes more about you putting notches in your own belt, which can leave your partner feeling pressured or, worse, inadequate. The truth is, not all orgasms are the same. The female body, in particular, is capable of a wide range of pleasurable sensations—some explosive, some gentle, some full-body, some subtle. All wonderful.  Sometimes, everything about a relationship seems perfect—except for the sex. She wants it. He says he does too, but when she initiates, he frequently pulls away. She’s left feeling confused, hurt, and rejected
She knows she’s attractive. Other men flirt with her. He’s a really good looking, masculine, big ripped guy.  Desire is your erotic self speaking up.
You’ve mastered when to quiet it—being appropriate at family gatherings, handling the day-to-day—but when you shut down the entire erotic mechanism inside you, it’s tough to access it on cue. Saying "yes" to desire when it shows up, even if messy, can be a transformative “You betcha” for your love life. This doesn’t mean you have to act on every feeling. Simply experiencing yourself as an erotic person allows you to grow.  Ever wondered if opening your marriage might be the right path for you and your partner? It’s a question that comes up more often than you might think, and when it does, it deserves an open-hearted look.
So, let’s get into it. If you’re considering ethical non-monogamy (ENM), whether that means polyamory, swinging, or something else, there’s one guiding principle that’ll keep you grounded: communicate, communicate, communicate. ENM can bring incredible new dimensions to a relationship, but even when you’re both all in, you’re likely to feel nervous system responses like excitement, curiosity, and maybe even fear or jealousy. |
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