Relationship Blogs |
 Here in Bend, things are blooming and it's absolutely gorgeous now that the rain has eased up. I’ve been paddling. And also dancing up a storm in my West Coast Swing class and community. Plus my HS reunion is coming up later this month, and I’m really looking forward to it.
I had a conversation recently where I commented that female sexuality is more SoCal wildfire than a gas fireplace. It starts with the right conditions, takes a spark to light it, wind to whip it up. Once it’s on, it goes for weeks. Maybe that’s why society fears it so much.
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 It’s been a great month for the Guyn group. One of the kids (aka the adults I still think of as my babies) did a really amazing showcase. The youngest just finished his sophomore year. Another took a major test and rocked it. My grandbaby and his mom were in town for a couple of weeks and they’re both hilariously adorable. And I’m feeling proud and sentimental that one kid’s in Ventura doing a residency at the same place Jim worked when we met. We’re really grateful for our family’s wellness, which feels amazing.
A few weeks ago, one of the kids had a graduation, a wedding, and a cross-country move all back to back. We stayed in the most peculiar Airbnb with hilarious, very close-up cows. We made tons of memories with family and good friends from near and far at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding at a winery. Between the family and the cows, there were all sorts of laughs.
 I get it that it's maybe embarrassing to talk with someone like me about the most intimate aspects of your relationship. Unfortunately, couples' counselors seldom discuss specific sexual concerns during their sessions. A sex specialist like me is uniquely qualified to help couples feel way less awkward than they might imagine they'd feel.
So, what happens?  Trauma is widespread. It’s in you. In your history. It’s in mine. Even though trauma isn’t our fault, our response often includes self shaming reactions to whatever happened. Recently, I shared that I am now offering hypnosis to select couples and individuals seeking to address issues like low desire or sexual aversion. Therapeutic hypnosis, while increasingly recognized as a valuable tool in mental health and personal development, still carries misconceptions. Let’s address some of them.
1. Loss of Control: Many people believe that under hypnosis, they will lose control of their thoughts, actions, or behaviors. In reality, you remain fully conscious and in control of yourself. In hypnosis, you’re accessing a part of yourself that’s a little more open to your feelings and memories. 2. Mind Control: There's a misconception that a hypnotist can implant thoughts or ideas against your will. In truth, hypnosis is a way to give yourself a pep talk that drops deeper into you–your own words, helping you. 3. Revelation of Secrets: Some fear that hypnosis will lead them to reveal deeply personal or embarrassing secrets involuntarily. However, in therapeutic hypnosis, you retain the ability to filter what you share. Also, as a trauma-informed board certified sexologist, I’ll guide you only to those things that you have expressed during our pre-hypnosis intention setting conversation - things that you want to heal. The wonderful thing about hypnosis is that even though it can seem magical, you’re always in control and have an awareness of what’s happening. 4. Instant Results: There's a misconception that hypnosis can produce instant or miraculous results after just one session. While some individuals may experience immediate progress, hypnotherapy often requires multiple sessions to achieve lasting change. This is why I guide you through six sessions of 5-PATH hypnotherapy, designed to release limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck despite sometimes years in therapy or other personal development work.. 5. One Size Fits All: There's a misconception that hypnosis follows a one-size-fits-all approach, with identical techniques and scripts used for every client. In reality, before we begin hypnosis, we’ll spend four sessions together during The Quickie that will allow me to tailor your hypnosis sessions to your unique goals, needs, and responsiveness to hypnosis. Overall, therapeutic hypnosis is a safe and effective therapeutic tool when conducted by trained professionals. The immersive training that I received during 2023 both in person and online, gives me the experience to successfully support you using hypnosis. If you have low desire or sexual aversion, concerns about orgasm, erectile dysfunction, or you are facing something in your past that makes you uncomfortable about sex and would like to learn more about hypnosis and whether it may be a good fit for you – schedule a free call with me. It’s so awkward to talk about it. I get that. But when you start gently with an open heart and no pressure, it’ll be much less painful than you’d think. xo, Jane |
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