Relationship Blogs |
 They’re laughing and holding hands downtown. They’re throwing frisbees at the lake. Everything looks easy. Do they have problems talking about s e x too?
It’s so awkward to talk about it. I get that. Even when you’re madly in love and things are super hot n’ heavy, sometimes opening your mouth and letting words come out is much harder than getting naked on a smokin’ hot day with A/C running.
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 If you’re interested in being with people of more than one gender you might define your sexual orientation as bisexual, pansexual or omnisexual.
Did you know that your sexual orientation may include many things?  Trauma is the through line of my life story. It doesn’t define me, but sometimes it’s in the color. Sometimes just the texture.
I wish it weren’t true. But it is. Trauma is widespread. It’s epidemic. It’s in you. In your history. It’s in mine. I know it like the back of my aging hand. It’s been with me since my girlhood. I bet you know your trauma history, too.  I want her so much that it hurts my feelings when she doesn’t initiate. I feel completely unattractive.
“It would help if I felt like she really wanted it. Sure, she says ‘yes’ sometimes, but I feel like she’s doing it just because I’m pushing her. A pity fk. Excuse my language.” That’s what he told me.  Maybe it was something physical. (Like heart disease or diabetes. But the urologist and the pelvic floor physical therapist both said everything was fine.)
She felt bad when he got soft. Like it was her fault. Maybe it was because she wasn’t hot enough. Or sexy enough. Or tiny enough. Or had big enough boobs. Maybe it was her. He felt bad when he got soft. Like it was his fault. Maybe it was because he wasn’t young enough. Or manly enough. Or turned on enough. Or enough for her. |
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