does menopause ruin everything?

Maybe last week you read my email about that adorable little old lady who came into the office ready to have sex again. At 81 years old, she’d lost her dentures and used a cane to get around, but sex was still on her mind. 

That little lady is my hero.

Not because sex is required for people in their 80’s, but because she’d identified her desire and reached out to me for help. If you missed my post, check it out here.  

---

Every week in my office or on a virtual coffee chat, I talk to women who’re struggling with their sexuality. Most of them are decades younger than that darling woman. And they’re my heroes, too. 

Because, they’re claiming their desire to feel alive sexually - during perimenopause, menopause or later. They’re talking about it. Choking out words, wondering if it’s actually okay to say the things that’ve been stuck inside for too long. They’re asking questions. 

I know that for lots of people, coming into my office is worse than going to the dentist. They know they need it, but they dread it. They put it off for weeks, months, or even years. I understand why - they’ve been wanting to let go of sexual shame that they’ve been feeling for a long time. They know that I can help them start to unravel some of the relationship challenges they’re facing like sexual pain and decreased libido.

But, It feels scary to get started. 

After we finish our time together, they feel a whole lot better, but making an appointment and getting themselves in the door of my office is pretty crunchy for lots of people. (If you’ve been thinking about working with me, but keep putting it off, you’re not alone. I hear that almost every time someone says YES!)

These women have determined that even now their very own sexual expression has value. They’ve claimed it - like the powerful, embodied humans they are in every other part of their lives.

How about you? Have I been on your TO DO LIST for a long time? Is there something about me that’s calling your name? Is it nagging you, in the back of your mind, reminding you that this part of yourself also deserves tending?

If so, get on a call with me. Here’s the link to get scheduled: 

https://www.howtofixmysexlife.com/coffeedate.html

I got you. You got this.

Xoxo

Dr. Jane


PS: I remember a friend telling me that after menopause she said to her husband: 

“You’re soft and I’m dry. What are we supposed to do now?”



​