how to feel confident sexually (even if you don’t have a lot of sexual experience)

Last time I wrote to you, I told you my ideas about how to be comfortable naked (no matter what). Here’s a link to that post in case you missed it. 
Everyday in my office, I talk with someone who’s either feeling bad about their body, or feeling bad because they lack confidence about sex. Sometimes they’re remembering the way they’ve been brought up by parents who scolded or scared them about sex. Sometimes they’re upset about something that’s happened with their current partner - or with a lover from the past. 
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How about you? Do you feel sexually confident? Are you struggling with memories of traumatic events from the past - big or small? Do you want to feel less embarrassed about sex? Do you want to rekindle things with your partner? Or just make things just a little bit better? Are you struggling with ED? 

Whatever you’re looking for in your love life, these 3 simple tips will help you get it. 

1. Realize that showing up and being yourself is the only thing that really matters.What I mean by “showing up” is just that - being willing to slow down enough that you can connect with your partner in small and big ways - not just rushing to “do it.” By being who you truly are, you’ll invite your partner to do the same. 
   
   
2. Listen to your partner. Try to understand what your partner really wants. You may feel comfortable offering what they’d like - or maybe what they’re interested in isn’t your cup of tea. Either way, knowing what your partner wants will help you both. Clarify so that you can decide if you’re in or you’re out. 
   
   
3. Recognize that “playing around” is still the answer. So often, we take intimacy so seriously that it’s filled with tension and anxiety. I don’t know about you, but back in the day before I was a real adult, I played around in the back of cars or on the beach with my boyfriend. “Playing around” is still a great way to keep pleasure alive without worrying about “going all the way” or performing - trying to hit some artificial standard of excellence.  By being yourself, listening to your partner and taking the pressure off, you can enjoy a satisfying intimate life even if it feels impossible right now.

You got this. 

Xoxo
Jane
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PS: Want to talk to me about it? Here’s a link to get on my calendar for a complimentary virtual coffee chat: https://www.howtofixmysexlife.com/coffeedate.html